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UNTITLED: The Long Trek Home

A weekly Star Trek podcast, discussing every single episode of the series in order, including the original series, the animated series, Next Generation, DS9, Voyager ... you get the idea.
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UNTITLED: The Long Trek Home
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Jun 29, 2016

Our mission to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with TOS episode 15, "Shore Leave!" This is the one with a terrible faux-Irish song! Sorry about this episode's audio quality.

 

Our boys finally get some rest, we meet a new yeoman, and everyone thinks they're hallucinating or something even though they're clearly not. Spock's stuck on the ship for most of the episode because if he wasn't, everyone would have figured out the game much sooner. Sulu fights a samurai, tiger stock footage is rolled out for our amusement, and no one remembers the word "barrows." Also, the white rabbit shows up!

 

ALSO: SEM's mom joins us to discuss the episode AND to discuss a museum exhibit in Seattle, Star Trek: Exploring New Worlds at the Experience Music Project. 

 

The chill cult mentioned in the episode is the Aetherius Society, by the way. (And cult probably isn't the right word.)

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 4

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 22 (4 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 61

Jun 15, 2016

The neverending story continues and we yet endeavor to watch all of Star Trek forever; this week we talk about Balance of Terror, the fourteenth episode of the original series! What hijinks do the crew of the Enterprise get in this week? Hint: this is the one where we first meet the Romulans!

 

This time, we meet the Romulans, an important lesson about space racism is learned, the story is split between our crew and some new friends we demand fanfic about, and . Kirk and a Romulan commander try to outfox each other, and I refuse to make jokes about Spock's dad. They're facile and boring and we shan't sink that low. Also, we pitch a game to Bioware or Bethesda or whoever.

 

Oh Commander! my Commander! our fearful trip is done

 

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 2 [one is a starfleet officer technically not on the ship]

Total crew deaths: 22 (4 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 5

Total deaths: 61

Jun 7, 2016

As we continue our five trillion year voyage to watch all of Star Trek, we end up watching some Shakespeare instead! I mean, we watch Star Trek: The Original Series episode 13, "The Conscience of the King." It's the one where Lady Macbeth is played by Macbeth's daughter!

 

This time, we ponder space hookups, Kirk pulls a Hamlet (but with less eyeliner), no one tells Spock anything so he googles that shit, and also there's a war criminal. Space fashion plays a critical role, and Riley is almost sympathetic for once. Remember, dear listeners: you never go full Ophelia.

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 2

Total deaths: 52

Jun 2, 2016

This week on our five hundred year mission to watch all of Trek in order, it's episodes 11 & 12 of TOS, "The Menagerie!" This is the one that brings the show's episode numbers in line with the podcast episode numbers!

 

We covered both parts in this episode, but completely skipped all the stuff that happened in the Cage. Except for Pike's extra-short bed. Spock does a mutiny, Pike doesn't know Morse code, there are a few issues we're too lazy to touch on, and also other things?!

 

Seriously, we thought this episode was going to end up doubly long, but so much of the runtime is just The Cage. So you get to listen to a double episode that's as long as a regular episode!

 

No updates to the tallies.

May 25, 2016

Our eleventh episode is Star Trek: The Original Series' tenth, The Corbomite Maneuver! This is the one with the spinning cube!

 

This time, we come up with a Hugo-award winning story idea, run the space race, talk about time cube, and find something alarming about space physicals. The Enterprise fires her phasers at an enemy vessel for the first time, Spock tells a joke, and Bailey's secret connection to the Dragon Age franchise is revealed. No wonder they can't wait to get rid of him. 

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 50

May 18, 2016

Join us as we walk about Star Trek: The Original Series episode 9 - The Dagger of the Mind! This is the one with the memory-erasing beam!

 

This time, we talk about ethics in mind alteration, infra-sensory drugs, mental health and prisons, and ridiculous Greek names. Kirk's nerd cred continues to amass itself, Dr. Noel saves Christmas, and space fashion involves psychedelic drapes and cult emblems. Also, panty shots! This one gets relatively heavy because of the subject of the episode, but we still have a great time.

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 2 mind-wiped space criminals

Total deaths: 50

 

NOTE: The ID3 tags on this episode might be wonky and misidentify it as episode 11? Sorry about that! It's not. It's episode 10.

May 11, 2016

Bunk bunk! It's to talk about Star Trek TOS episode 8, Miri! BLAH BLAH BLAH.

 

This time, we talk about Yeoman Rand's confusing job, space viruses, Mad Max vibes, inexplicable earth copies, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. There's nigh-immortal space kids in this one, just like in my Japanese animes! Also, important PSAs and press A to JAAAAAAAHHN.

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 2 infected pubescent space youths

Total deaths: 48

Intro/outro music by Night Stop, off of the Fuel EP!

 
May 3, 2016

Another Tuesday, another episode of The Long Trek Home! Thisweek, we watch episode 7 of Star Trek: The Original Series. "WhatAre Little Girls Made Of?" Buddy, if I knew that, I'd be drowningin 'em.

 

This week, we talk about robots. Nurse Chapel stars in athrilling tale of unlovable robots, cool space fashions, andspinning tables. Did we mention the robots? Yeah. Oh, and Kirk getsa space-racist clone for a bit, so that's neat! We really enjoyedthis episode, so come on down and join us on our five million yearvoyage to watch all of Trek in order! A dark secret lurks at theend of this episode. Are you strong enough to survive theexperience?

 

NOTE: Ruk's actor is misidentified as Richard Kiel during this episode. We know that's not who he is. Whoops???

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 2

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 5 androids

Total deaths: 46

 

Intro/outro music by Night Stop, off of the Fuel EP!

Apr 26, 2016

The five hundred year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues, with TOS episode 6, "Mudd's Women." This is the one with ... a lot of terrible things, honestly. Too many things for a pithy one-liner!

 

This episode, we talk about sex trafficking in space, the title of Chelsea's post-rock album, vehicular definitions, drugs, and the importance of the number three. Did we mention the weird sex trafficking vibes? Join Chelsea and SEM as they talk about the worst episode of the series so far! There's also a lengthy tangent about radioactive debacles, because anything's better than Mudd's Women.

 

#SpaceCapitalism #Confirmed #Illuminati

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 18 (2 gold, 4 blue, 2 red, 10 unknown)

Total deaths: 39

Intro/outro music by Night Stop, off of the Fuel EP!

Apr 19, 2016

Our five hundred year mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, and now it's time for Star Trek: The Original Series episode 5, THE ENEMY WITHIN. This is the one with evil Kirk! The first one.

 

This time, we talk about the measure of man, and also the measure of temperature in various scales. Sweaty boys, sex pests with eyeliner, fanfic concepts and the well-earned beach vacation yeoman Rand so desperately needs all feature on today's podcast. This episode has an evil clone and a unicorn dog. It's great.

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 18 (2 gold, 4 blue, 2 red, 10 unknown)

Total deaths: 39

Intro/outro music by Night Stop, off of the Fuel EP!

Apr 16, 2016

The five year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with TOS episode 4, "The Naked Time." This is the one where Sulu takes his shirt off!

 

Sorry for the late episode - Chelsea is sick as a hundred dogs. Enjoy the dulcet tones of a sore throat in this exciting podcast!

 

In another non-pilot episode, we finally meet Nurse Chapel, Uhura is our MVP, and Sulu chases people down hallways with his fencing foil. Poor use of personal protective equipment, space madness, and complex molecules all teach us important lessons in life and science.

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 2

Crew deaths this episode: 1

Total crew deaths: 18 (2 gold, 4 blue, 2 red, 10 unknown)

Total deaths: 39

Apr 5, 2016

The five year voyage to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with episode 3, "Where No Man Has Gone Before." This is the one with Gary Mitchell!

 

This podcast, we encounter yet another pilot episode, meet Scotty for the first time, sing about some Gary that we used to know, and look forward to the space Tarantino flick Kill Mitchell. We also debate how many omnipotent beings we've encountered thus far, enjoy the tapes of future past, and get a little Shakespearean. 

 

Omnipotent Beings This Episode: (.5 * 2) = 1

Total Omnipotent Beings: 2

Crew Deaths This Episode: 17

Other Deaths This Episode: 0

Total Crew Deaths: 17

Total Deaths: 38

 

Find previous episodes on our website! You can also follow us on Twitter or Tumblr.

Intro/Outro Music by Night Stop from the Fuel EP!

Mar 30, 2016

Stardate 69708.8

 

Our five year voyage to watch all of Star Trek continues with the second episode of the original series, CHARLIE X. In which our omnipotent being count begins, the death count is updated, and we can't figure out if being turned into an iguana should count. Also: life lessons with Captain Kirk, fanfiction concepts, space boardgames, and the danger of teens.

 

Intro/outro music by Night Stop available at nightstop.bandcamp.com!

Mar 23, 2016

This time your hosts talk about the first broadcast episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, THE MAN TRAP. A death count is kept, shirt colors are noted, and Uhura is fondly regarded. Other topics include: space prefixes, Hannibal, NCIS, and the Cold War. Chelsea and SEM also delve briefly into the true goals of their five year voyage.

 

Special guest: GAIL ANDERSON, better known as Chelsea's mom, who watched the first episode the day it first aired and provides some much-needed historical perspective.

 

Intro/outro music by Night Stop available at nightstop.bandcamp.com!

Mar 15, 2016

Welcome to the inaugural episode, recorded before we were even sure of our own name! Each week, we'll discuss an episode of Star Trek, going from the original series and Next Generation, all the way through to whatever Bryan Fuller reboot madness eventually happens. 

 

This time we talk about the very first episode of Star Trek ever, THE CAGE. Topics include: just how done Captain Pike is with everything, Fallout New Talos, unnamed female characters, and matte paintings. And more!

 

Your hosts:

SEM: @thesem on Twitter and Tumblr

Chelsea: @aflightybroad on Twitter

 

The podcast's current home on the web:

The Long Trek Home Tumblr Blog

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