UNTITLED: The Long Trek Home

A weekly Star Trek podcast, discussing every single episode of the series in order, including the original series, the animated series, Next Generation, DS9, Voyager ... you get the idea.
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UNTITLED: The Long Trek Home




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Mar 24, 2019

it's the end of TOS season 3, at last! two episodes in a month means everything's comin up milhouse here at the long trek home.

we nitpick a good episode to death because of who we are as people, and encourage a character to Seek Help and Do Speedruns

this episode has 2 much gender …

Mar 5, 2019

sometime last year, we watched "All Our Yesterdays" and then talked about it! this one's got time travel and excess nitpicking from the host writing this, sorry.

the cops HATE ghosts. that's just science.


Jan 9, 2019

Special guest Rosa joins us to discuss TOS season 3 episode "The Savage Curtain" ...! We talk about books and centaurs for a while, then actually start the episode by discussing actual human presidents and the political situation of the Federation. There are no marching bands in space, and in the future you can say any slur you want.

Everyone has captions on. Zizek would hate this episode. War bad.

We're back, buds! The podcast is back! What if Liam Neeson played Abe Lincoln? Listen to the show to find out!

two pictures of a dog. in one, the dog has pants on its hind legs only and the pants cover its rear. in the second image it has pants that cover all four legs but only come up to the top of each leg. at the bottom it says 'if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or like this' indicating the two images above.

This episode was recorded in mid-September, 2018, before Kanye West was cancelled. Many Bothans died to bring you this recording.

Oct 25, 2018

We watched TOS season 3 episode "The Cloud Minders" and started a communist revolution inside our podcast!!!! there's oppressed workers and thinly veiled metaphors that we discover used to be even less thinly veiled and the whole thing rules, it turns out. watch the episode, listen to the podcast, and read the bread book, in that order. that's my advice. thank you.

Sep 5, 2018

we watched star trek TOS season 3 episode "the way to eden" and boy are our arms tired!


ok, look, there's space hippies, chelsea talks about getting kettled, and everyone enjoys some gentle space tunes. spock's harp is discussed. did we mention the space hippies? they fuckin.

put an egg on your shirt and don your headphones, it's time for the long trek home!

Aug 21, 2018

everyone's dying of ADHD and the fate of the enterprise rests with an old man and his robot daughter/wife who has seventeen degrees and is interested in literally everything. the ritalin monopoly must be toppled ... in space.

we watched the star trek original series season 3 episode "Requiem for Methuselah" and had ourselves a time!

Aug 18, 2018

This week, SEM brings us intrepid reporting live from Memory Alpha as we watch the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Lights of Zetar" ...!

Scotty falls in love with some lettuce, shields are a war crime, and another cloud menaces the Enterprise. For season 3, this was startlingly watchable!

Aug 8, 2018

We managed to survive watching Star Trek TOS season 3's "That Which Survives" and I think you should be proud of us for that feat.

In this episode, we learn some geography and geology, discuss podcast listening habits, and Spock is a total asshole for no good reason. Also, Kirk makes some strange assumptions about ghosts.

Jul 25, 2018

The intrepid crew of Long Trek Home watched TOS Season 3 episode "The Mark of Gideon" and had a bad time. Chelsea veers wildly off-topic at every opportunity while SEM valiantly tries to keep things on track.


A woman wears a bizarre and terrible outfit. Overcrowding is woefully misunderstood, people walk in circles, and in space no one can hear you scream unless you're not actually in space and then they can.


Recorded July 9, 2018

Jul 19, 2018

this time, SEM's friend Arras (@Animus_Panthera) joined us to discuss Star Trek TOS episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" ...!

Everyone ignores each other a lot as the same questions are asked time and time again. 50,000 years seems like a reasonable amount of time to have grown tired of promises of incremental change. Lokai was right. Oh, yeah, and this is the episode with the dudes with half black/half white faces.

Recorded in April 2018.

Note: Arras' audio came through extremely quiet on the audio despite seeming fine while we were recording. I've done my best with it, but if audio levels are weird on this one, I apologize.

Jul 11, 2018

episode 69 .... nice

in the star trek future, the only mental illness left is Doing War Crimes! oh, serial killing, also, that's another mental illness. everything else is fine, and those are fine now too because of magic space drugs. things get goofy this episode.

recorded february 2018. spoilers for black panther.

Jul 4, 2018

we watched the TOS episode "Elaan of Troyius" with our friend Jeff @heyboots! this bizarre take on taming of the shrew is not very good, probably, but at least kirk/enterprise is confirmed once again. good job, TOS!

here's jeff's utena let's play: link

May 22, 2018

this episode has an empath who gets experimented on a lot, which is rough. just say no to human experimentation! sem's mom guest stars as we try and figure out what the fuck scotty is talking about. 

Apr 16, 2018

some people go very very fast. i don't even know how to describe this episode.


this episode was recorded in october 2017, oops!

Feb 7, 2018

please protect alexander, he's very good and we like him


star trek happens so much y'all

Jan 23, 2018

Sometime in September, we talked about Star Trek: TOS season three episode "The Tholian Web."


Kirk goes missing, the Tholians are famed for their punctuality, everyone gets holes in their brains because of dimensions, and Chelsea wants pictures of Spider-Man. 

Jan 18, 2018

bones is a married man now


this episode was recorded in september, but it's out in january! that's the magic of time travel.

Nov 29, 2017

hey, we're back! we watched "day of the dove" back in like august and then chelsea got caught up in moving stuff and forgot what the word editing meant. this episode has klingons, so there's plenty of cold war metaphors and blackface.


note: updated 11/29 to fix an audio issue

Sep 1, 2017

A spectre is haunting Star Trek: The Original Series season 3 - the Spectre of the Gun. All the powers of the Federation have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Kirk and Spock, human and Vulcan, Klingon and Romulan. 

Where is the federation starship on patrol that has not been waylaid by weird space beings and forced to do gunfights? Where is the federation starship that has not pissed off an alien race so bad those aliens made them hang out on a cobbled-together western set all day, and then had to act like Billy the Kid and other Wild West historical figures? 

The history of all hitherto existing space society is asshole space aliens making shit like this happen. 

Or: Chelsea and SEM discuss "Spectre of the Gun." It's not bad.

Sorry the podcast is super late! Chelsea fell behind in editing.

Aug 17, 2017

chelsea and SEM watch TOS season 3 episode "Is There No Truth In Beauty?"


the crew is super horny, an alien lives in a box, and spock wears special glasses. it's OK!

Aug 9, 2017

UPDATE: libsyn did something wrong and originally cut off the ending of this episode. you may need to refresh your feed to get the full version??


these are some bad kids, folks! chelsea and SEM talk season 3 TOS episode "And The Children Shall Lead," where kids are evil and you can't trust angels. oh, there's also a mass suicide in this one. in space!

Jul 26, 2017

The crew lands on a planet and Kirk promptly falls in a hole and gets amnesia. Chelsea and SEM try to deal with the episode's events as best they can. This time, Long Trek Home discusses the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Paradise Syndrome" ...!


It's a weird, weird episode. 

Jul 19, 2017

NOTE: An updated version of this episode was uploaded on 7/19/2017. If you notice voices playing on only one stereo channel, you may need to redownload the episode or refresh your podcast feed to get the corrected version.


Hey, this episode's pretty good! Chelsea and SEM watch "The Enterprise Incident," the second episode of Star Trek: TOS season three. That's half of season three that's tolerable already!

Anyway, Spock gets a rare love interest, Kirk needs a nap, and the Commander is your hosts' new collective fav. The Romulans have a point, Scotty's amazing except for his hair, and - did we mention the Commander? 

Jul 12, 2017

jeff comes back to help chelsea and SEM deal with the first episode of star trek: the original series season three, "spock's brain."


oh jeez. just ... oh, jeez. oh no. oh boy.


note: this episode is out a week late because SGDQ happened. oops? oops.

Jun 28, 2017

At the end of season two, we got an e-mail! We also talked about season 2 and listed our favorite episodes. C'mon down and check it out.

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